Whatever you do, don't panic.

Whatever you do, don't panic.

Walk like I taught you to walk, talk like I taught you to talk — Taught like I walked you to talk — Lutiebelle!

Yes, Reb'n Purlie!

Wake up!

- Oh my goodness, Reb'n Purlie — was I asleep?

Alert!

- Alert!

Wide awake!

- Wide awake!

Up on your toes!

- Up on your toes!

No, that's just a figure of speech.

Now!

You remember what I told you?

No, sir.

Can't say I do, sir.

Well, first: chit-chat —small-talk!

Yessir —how small?

Pass the time of day —you remember?

The first thing I taught you on the train?

Oh!

On the train... "Delighted to remake your acquaintance, I am sure."

That's it, that's it exactly!

Now.

Suppose he was to say to you: "I bet you don't remember when you wasn't kneehigh to a grasshopper.

Ol' Cap'n took you by the hand, and led you down your first trip to the cotton patch.

” Just like you told me on the train!

Yes!

"I must confess that much of my past life is vague and hazy."

Doggone my hide — you're the cutest li'l piece of brown skin sugar I ever did see!

Oh, thank you, Reb'n Purlie!

I ain't exactly me, saying that — it's Ol Capn.

And this is my land, and my cotton patch, and my commissary, and my bull whip still here, just like you left us.

And what might be your name li'l gal?

Beatrice Judson, sir.

And what is your daddy's name, li'l gal?

Horace Judson, sir.

And what did they teach you up in that college, li'l gal?

It was my major education Ol Capn — You mean you majored in education.

Well —nothing wrong with the Negras getting an education I always say.

Then again, ain't nothing right with right with it either.

Right Cousin Bee, you dont mind if I call you Cousin Bee do you, honey?

Oh, sir -- Id be delighted.

Don't!

Don't be delighted until he puts the money in your hands.

And where did you say your Maw worked at?

In North Carolina.

Where is your maw at now?

She's at the cemetery: she died.

How much is the inheritance?

Five hundred dollars for the next of kin.

Wonderful, just wonderful.

Say, maybe you could teach an old dog like me some new tricks.

By swickety — a gal like you could doggone well change a joker's luck if she had a mind to.

See what I mean?

[Imitates laugh] What!

What in the name of — My compliments, sir, are only exceeded by my humblest apologies.

Allow me, if you please to present to you my Aunt Henrietta's daughter, whom you remember so well.

Beatrice Judson, or as we call her, Cousin Bee.

Well, I'll be switched!

Come, Cousin Bee, say “howdo ” to the man.

How do to the man.

I mean...

Delighted to remake your acquaintance, I'm sure.

What's that?

What's that she's saying?

College sir.

College?

- Thats all she ever talks.

You mean Henrietta's little ol'button-eyed pickaninny was in college?

Well bust my eyes wide open!

Just look at that!

[They both laugh]